分类：短文摘抄
日期：2022-10-17 02:15
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Money is not everything. There's Mastercard and Visa. 钞票不是万能的，毕竟有时还需要信用卡。
One should love animals. They are so tasty. 每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。 Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 要节约用水，所以尽量和女友一起洗澡。
Love the neighbor. But don't get caught. 要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道。 Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two or more. 每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人。
每个不成功男人的背后，都有两个或更多。 Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，毕竟幸福不是永久的嘛。
The wise never marry. 聪明人都是未婚的。 Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 成功是一个相关名词，它会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚。
Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today. 不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。 Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop. 爱情就像照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养。
Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children. 后座上的小孩会生出意外，后座上的意外会生出小孩。 "Your future depends on your dreams."So go to sleep. 现在的梦想决定着你的将来，所以，还是再睡一会吧。
There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning. 应该有更好的方式开始新的一天，而不是千篇一律地在每个上午都醒来。 "Hard work never killed any body."But why take the risk？ 努力工作不会导致死亡。
但为什么要冒险呢？。
1. Money is not everything. There's Mastercard and Visa. 钞票不是万能的，毕竟有时还需要信用卡。
2. One should love animals. They are so tasty. 每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。 3. Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 要节约用水，所以尽量和女友一起洗澡。
4. Love the neighbor. But don't get caught. 要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道。 5. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two or more. 每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人。
每个不成功男人的背后，都有两个或更多。 6. Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，毕竟幸福不是永久的嘛。
7. The wise never marry,and when they marry they become otherwise.. 聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来。 8. Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 成功是一个相关名词，它会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚。
9. Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today. 不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。 10. Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop. 爱情就像照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养。
11. Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children. 后座上的小孩会生出意外，后座上的意外会生出小孩。 12. "Your future depends on your dreams."So go to sleep. 现在的梦想决定着你的将来，所以，还是再睡一会吧。
13. There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning. 应该有更好的方式开始新的一天，而不是千篇一律地在每个上午都醒来。 14. Hard work never killed any body.But why take the risk？ 努力工作不会导致死亡。
但为什么要冒险呢？ 15. “Work fascinates me.“ I can look at it for hours！ 工作好有意思耶！尤其是看着别人工作。 16. God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends. 神决定了谁是你的亲戚，幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地。
17. When two's company, three's the result！ 两个人的状态是不稳定的，三个人才是！ 18. A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view. 服饰就象铁丝网，它阻止你冒然行动但并不妨碍你尽情的观看。 19. The more you learn, the more you know;The more you know, the more you forget;The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn. 学的越多，知道的越多， 知道的越多，忘记的越多， 忘记的越多，知道的越少， 为什么学来着。
参考整理于网络。
1. Money is not everything. There's Mastercard and Visa.
钞票不是万能的，毕竟有时还需要信用卡。
2. One should love animals. They are so tasty.
每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。
3. Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.
要节约用水，所以尽量和女友一起洗澡。
4. Love the neighbor. But don't get caught.
要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道。
5. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two or more.
每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人。每个不成功男人的背后，都有两个或更多。
6. Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，毕竟幸福不是永久的嘛。
7. The wise never marry,and when they marry they become otherwise..
聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来。
8. Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
成功是一个相关名词，它会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚。
9. Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.
不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。
10. Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.
爱情就像照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养。
The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn? Your future depends on your dreams. So go to sleep. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa. Hard work never killed anybody. But why take the risk? Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 够暸吗？。
The nice men are ugly.好男人不帅。
The handsome men are not nice.帅男人不好。The handsome and nice men are gay.又帅又好的男人是同性恋。
The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.又帅又好又不是同性恋的男人都结婚了。Men who are not so handsome but are nice men have no money.不是很帅但是很好的男人却没有钱。
The men who are not so handsome but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.不是很帅但是又好又有钱的男人会认为我们看上的是他们的钱。The handsome men without money are after our money.而没有钱但是很帅的男人看上的是我们的钱。
The handsome men, who are not so nice and some what heterosexual don't think we are beautiful enough.不是很好但是很帅又是异性恋的男人却嫌我们不够漂亮。The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money are cowards.又好又有钱又是异性恋又觉得我们漂亮的男人却又没胆量。
The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE！又好又帅又有点钱而且是个异性恋的男人偏偏害羞而且从不采取行动。The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest on us when we take the initiative.那些从不主动的男人一旦我们采取主动就对我们失去兴趣。
NOW。WHO IN THE HELL UNDERSTaNDS MEN？现在。
到底有谁了解男人这东西？。
Dr. Swift and the Boy
A wealthy old lady who lived near Dr Swift rsed to send him presents occasionally by her servang Dr Swift took thi lady's presents but never gave the boy anything for hes trouble. One day as Swift was busy with his writing, the boy rushed into sweft's room, knocked some books ort of the books' place,threw his parcdl on the desk and said ,"my mistress has sent you two of her rabbits."
Swift turned round and said ,
my boy, that is not the way to deliver your parcel Now,you sit in my chair, watch my way of doing it and learn your losson "
The boy sat down. Swift went out ,knocked on swift's door and waited Hhe boy said "Come in" The doctor entered, walked to his desk and said, "If you please sir, my mistress sends her kind regards and hopes you will accept these rabbits which her son shot this morning in their fidlds "
The boy answered, "Thank you ,my boy. Give your mistress and her son dr.swift's thanks for their kindness and here is two shillings for yourself."
The Doctor laughed,and after that,swift nener forgot to give the boy his tip.
斯威夫特博士与小厮
啊斯维特博士家附近，有一位富有的老妇人，她时常打发仆人给他送礼物。斯威夫特博士接受她的礼物，但从不给小厮任何酬谢。一天，斯维特博士正忙着写东西，小厮冲进了他的房间，把书一扒拉，将一个包裹仍在书桌上，说道：“我的女主人送给你两只兔子。”
斯威特转过身来说：“孩子，包裹可不是这样送法呀。现在，你坐在我的椅子上，看看我是怎么送的，并要记取这个教训。”
小厮坐了下来，斯威特走出去，敲了敲门，等待回音。小厮说“进来。”博士进了门，坐到桌子旁说道：“先生，我的女主人向您致以亲切的问候，并希望您收下这些兔子，这是她的儿子今天早上在地里打的。”
小厮回答说：“谢谢你，我的孩子。向你的女主人和她的儿子致谢，谢谢他们的关心。这两个先令是送给你本人的。”
博士笑了，打那以后，斯威特从没忘记送小费给小厮。
1) I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.
我爱你，不是因为你是一个怎样的人，而是因为我喜欢与你在一起时的感觉。
2) No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
没有人值得你流泪，值得让你这么做的人不会让你哭泣。
3) The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.
失去某人，最糟糕的莫过于，他近在身旁，却犹如远在天边。
4) Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
纵然伤心，也不要愁眉不展，因为你不知是谁会爱上你的笑容。
5) To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
对于世界而言，你是一个人；但是对于某个人，你是他的整个世界。
6) Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
不要为那些不愿在你身上花费时间的人而浪费你的时间。
7) Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
爱你的人如果没有按你所希望的方式来爱你，那并不代表他们没有全心全意地爱你。
8) Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.
不要着急，最好的总会在最不经意的时候出现。
9) Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
在遇到梦中人之前，上天也许会安排我们先遇到别的人；在我们终于遇见心仪的人时，便应当心存感激。
10) Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
不要因为结束而哭泣，微笑吧，为你的曾经拥有。
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